I received my first piece of negative feedback for Middle Man this week. The email was mostly complimentary and, let’s face it, to get to 15,000 downloads before any negative feedback is pretty good!
But the guy who emailed me said that while what Dr Sarah Nicholls said on this week’s episode of the show about living a soft life was “sound”, the advice she offered was “completely impracticable for many”. By this he was referring to “single parents, minimum wage earners and full time workers”.
Now, I take this on board and accept the point that things like relaxing days off and trips to cafes and the cinema might be difficult for some people. However, for me this somewhat misses the point. It’s self-limiting and seems to say that if you’re in a certain situation then that’s your lot and you shouldn’t aspire to become something better.
From a midlife male perspective, if you find yourself feeling lost and overwhelmed and unappreciated and unmotivated, should you not do something about that? Should you not try and create alignment in your life?
Many of the soft life principles are just that: principles. They can and should be adapted to your own circumstances. You shouldn’t need money or anything else to start to create a more positive mindset to lift yourself out of the midlife malaise.
I’d ‘discovered’ this way before I ever heard of the soft life. Many of the actions that I started to take and the habits I started to adopt six months ago were intuitive. They were small actions, each of which had a specific purpose in building my mindset or my health, and developing resilience and pulling myself out of the rut I was in.
Unbeknownst to me, I was effectively creating my own version of the soft life. Was there more to it? Absolutely. I took myself through a long list of mental exercises, some of which were useful, some of which weren’t. (And by the way, I’m currently developing a 30 Day Midlife Reset programme that I hope will offer guidance on this.)
But anyone – and I do mean anyone – can create new habits and amend their mindset to reduce stress and to become more positive. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I do believe it’s achievable.
For example, one of my ‘soft life’ principles is to take a daily walk outside in the fresh air. Anyone can make that happen. Another is to journal. Again, it’s free. If you can write, you can do it.
Look around at your own situation, audit your life, and do whatever you can with whatever you have to prioritise your health and wellbeing. Don’t limit yourself by saying that because someone else does something a certain way, you can’t recreate that in a different image.
