Loneliness is as Harmful as Smoking – David Robson on Social Connection

Feb 5, 2025

Loneliness among midlife men is at epidemic levels. One in five men report having no close friends, and loneliness is reported to be as bad for you as smoking or drinking excessively. Some argue that it is more dangerous than cancer due to the sheer number of people it impacts and its mental and physical effects.

David Robson is the author of the book Laws of Connection, which explores why social connection matters even more than we thought, and how to build better relationships and improve our lives. This week, Paul talks to David about the science of human connection, why so many people, men in particular, struggle to form deep friendships, and how societal norms contribute to this.

David explains key psychological concepts from his book including creating shared realities and the liking gap, which causes people to underestimate how much others like them. He also discusses prioritising honesty over kindness to form deeper, more meaningful relationships.

For anyone feeling disconnected or unsure how to deepen their social bonds, David offers actionable insights and practical strategies grounded in psychology to overcome social anxiety, build confidence in social situations and foster stronger relationships.

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Buy the book Laws of Connection on Amazon.

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I’d love to hear about your experiences, so if you’d like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what’s on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com

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You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-loneliness

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